Nothing Makes You Appreciate Your Life More Than Being Sick

I don't care how bad you think your life is going right now, I guarantee you that if you get sick, your normal life will seem MUCH better.

Yes, you will feel worse in the short term. Running a fever or suffering from bouts of what I euphemistically call Involuntary Personal Protein Spills (thanks to the great George Carlin for that one!) can tend to make your everyday existence a little uncomfortable. Even when you get better, you don't really FEEL better. You might be weak as a kitten. You might have to run to the bathroom every 15 minutes. You may find this period to be of some inconvenience to you and your daily responsibilities.

But then, the glorious day arrives when you look in the mirror and your face has lost that mustard/guacamole tint (color depends on exact illness that you were stricken with). You can go to a restaurant and actually enjoy the smells coming from the other tables - well, the food smells, anyway. You come home, and actually have the energy to resume your workout regimen - whether it's at the gym or at your local drinking establishment. Hey that's all up to you.

But on that wonderful day, when you finally feel human again, no matter what your personal circumstances, everything feels much better than it did before you got sick.

So, in the long term, being sick DOES make your normal life seem much better, doesn't it?

Just A Little Respect for the 'Stros, Please?

A warning for my legion of devoted fans: This will be the first of what I hope will be many sports-related posts. For those of you who have no interest whatsoever in anything involving sports, feel free to check back another day.

Now, for the two of you that are still with me, I have a question: What IS it with the national sports media?

Judging by the media coverage the Houston Astros have received so far this year, I think that most of the people who cover baseball have forgotten that the Astros are the defending National League champions. In fact, I would say that the Houston Nine are being patronized, even ignored.

Just in case you think I am nothing more than a rabid, illogical homer who would like nothing better than to see the Astros lead off every SportCenter and be on the cover of every Sports Illustrated, let me make the following four points to back up my claim.

1) Before the 2005 season, all 19 experts that ESPN used to predict the results of the upcoming season picked the Cardinals to win the National League Central. None of those same experts predicted the Astros to win anything. Note that in the 2004 National League Championship Series, the Astros took the Cardinals to 7 games, and actually had a 3-2 series lead, before finally bowing out. Also note that the mighty Cardinals were swept in the World Series, losing all 4 games by a total of 12 runs. Well, as everyone knows, the 2005 Astros won the wild card with a historical run and made it to the World Series. (By the way, they beat St. Louis in only six games on their way there.) Even though they, too, were swept, they lost by a four-game total of only 6 runs. Now, before the 2006 season, the same 19 experts again tried to predict the division winners for the season. Only ONE holdout cast his vote for the Astros to win the division. Nobody else predicted so much as a wild card for Houston. (The 18 sheep who didn’t vote for the Astros all picked the Cardinals to win the division again.)

2) Fourteen games into the season, with the team ranked second in the NL in batting statistics (yes, offense!) and seventh in pitching (with TWO rookies and no Rocket Clemens!), the Astros are STILL relegated to the second hour, only referred to in box scores and game recaps. To contrast this, the Detroit Tigers and the Milwaukee Brewers had fast starts to the season and they are continually spotlighted. I don’t mean to take anything away from Detroit’s Chris Shelton and Mike Mroth. I mean no disrespect towards Prince Fielder and Ben Sheets of the Brewers. All four players are good, and the franchises at last seem like they might have some hope this year. The question remains; How can these two perennially inept teams, with no playoff appearances in the last two decades, be featured over an Astros team that has been to the playoffs six out of the last nine years? Why does Jim Leyland ranting about how bad his club played night before last trump a come from behind victory by a team that has been slammed all off-season for a LACK of offense?

3) The Astros have paid their dues. They have improved every year for the last three years. In 2003 they finished only one game back for the NL Central title, but four games back in the Wild Card chase. In 2004, they captured the Wild Card and finally did two things that no other Astros team had been able to do: Win a postseason series, and beat the hated Atlanta Braves. After losing to the St. Louis Cardinals in seven games, the Astros came back in 2005, beat Atlanta again for good measure, and just to put an exclamation mark on the improvement from last year, beat the Cardinals as well, in spite of the stomach punch game that was Game 5 (the Pujols home run, but of course, EVERYBODY certainly remembers THAT).

4) For the 2006 season, the Astros did two things that all the experts predicted would be disastrous for the team’s prospects this year. They let Roger Clemens go, and they made no significant changes to the roster. As a result, all the pundits have made arguments for everyone but the Bad New Bears to win the NL Central. Heck, I could have put my old rec league softball team in the NL Central and someone would have picked them to win it. But in spite of Tim Purpura’s reluctance to make major changes, they are 10-4 to start the season, tied for the best record in the majors. They are ranked in the top ten in both hitting and pitching. Lance Berkman and Morgan Ensberg are ranked in the top 20 in all three Triple Crown statistical categories: batting average, home runs, and RBI. Even Adam Everett, who according to the press is a great glove and terrible offense, has increased his batting average almost 50 full points, from .248 to his current .327 pace. And yet, all of the press surrounding the Astros so far is limited to the Clemens Carousel, Preston Wilson striking out seven times in a row, and whether Lidge is damaged goods or not. Of course, last year, our offensive ineptitude was talked about all season, mainly because Clemens was being screwed out of his eighth Cy Young award.

I am not sure if the Astros can continue this offensive onslaught. Odds are that they will cool down some as the season progresses. It is, after all, a long season. In the meantime, it just infuriates me when this team gets absolutely no respect outside of the state of Texas. All I want is for this team to get it’s rightful due from the people whose job it is to know and follow baseball.

Back To The Ol' Grindstone

It's been a month of deep reflection for me. I think that losing a friend before his time might tend to do that to a person. I've grieved a little, stressed a little, and thought a lot, and it's time to get back on the horse now and let my life resume its normal course. Coincidentally enough, it's also the start of baseball season and my hometown Houston Astros are doing better than expected (more on this in a later post). The Houston Dynamo are playing their inaugural season in the MLS, and the only thing better than watching good soccer is watching it live and in person. As an added bonus, my girlfriend not only got a job last week, she got what amounts to the job of her dreams. After an eight-month pursuit, she is a senior editor at a small magazine with national circulation. She is very happy right now. (And the award for Understatement of the Year goes to...ME!)

I guess what I'm trying to say is that everything around me is OK. Flowers are blooming, birds are singing, the weather is perfect, and my friends have been there for me when I needed them. Life is good right now, and I need to start acting like it. We all have problems, it's how we deal with them that sets us apart from each other. I don't think I've been dealing with mine particularly well, and I apologize to everyone who has put up with me during my period of ennui.

Things will get better, I know that. I just forgot it for a little while.